I’m going to be going on about this for a while yet, so hold on guys and girls, but I’m still somewhat bewildered that we’ve kept a small human alive and well for an entire year!
A year of ups and downs, and swings and roundabouts (literally sometimes).
There’s been days that I genuinely wondered if I was really cut out for this and worried that I wasn’t good enough, and then days of utter bliss and joy and happiness.
So what has a year as a parent taught me?
It’s taught me that I’m far stronger and more resilient than I ever imagined. Even on the days when I’ve had to walk away and take five minutes for myself, to get myself back together, I’ve always gone back. Even in the early days when crying and hiding from the world and my child seemed like the best option, the love for my son, made me keep going.
It’s taught me that the simplest of things can bring the most joy. Just sitting in a field or in the park with Henry fills me with joy. He crawls and plays and tries to escape, say hello to every single dog or child we see, and it is the most amount of fun. It costs nothing and we all end up happy. We just need a little more sunshine.
It’s taught me that mental health is incredibly important. I’ve been lucky that for the most part I’ve never really suffered from any mental health problems, even when bullied at school. But I realised how close a newborn and postnatal hormones can push you to the edge. I suffered with pretty bad anxiety whilst breastfeeding exclusively and hated the idea of leaving the house if I was likely to need to feed as I was so self-conscious. I believe I had a little of the baby blues, but luckily didn’t develop post-natal depression, but I can truly understand how mothers do. And it’s this that taught me that mental health isn’t something to take lightly, and that talking is so very important.
It’s taught me that love can grow. I’ve always believed that love can develop and change. But Henry I swear I love him more and more every day. And the same goes for Dann too. Seeing him with his son literally (ok metaphorically) makes my heart swell with pride and love. The pair of them make my world complete, and I love them so much.