The last six months have been the most insane, amazing and overjoying months of my life. So much has changed and so much has stayed the same, and I am about 100 times happier and more full-filled than ever before. It’s a juggling act for sure, but of the very best kind.
To be completely honest I was slightly terrified before Dexter arrived of how I was going to cope, and how Henry would adjust, to us being a bigger family. It’s a big change for everyone. Going from one to two kids, means splitting yourself in half constantly. Always trying to work out who needs you most at any particular moment. Never really being alone, because, more often than not, someone always needs you. Although I’m actually writing this during a rare, magical, double nap time, and I am loving every second of it.
The first couple of months of being a mum of two were tricky. Trying to find that new balance and keep everyone happy. Plus OMG did I forget how hard newborns are. Looking back I do feel that Henry got a little left behind. He’s, thankfully, a great independent player, and is young enough that in a few years he really won’t remember those early days. I do think I’d take a toddler tantrum over a crying, colic baby any day of the week. Though both have made me cry independently in the last six months.
Once we hit three months, and the colic started to subside, and Dexter’s personality started to florish, I began to feel like I was finding my groove again with being a mum. It was less of a battle and more of a journey. We’ve managed many successful trips out (and our fair share of very unsuccessful ones too) and created many wonderful memories.
Now we’re celebrating six months with two little ones. We’re starting our weaning journey and navigating the chaos and fun of a toddler becoming a pre-schooler. I miss sleep something chronic, but I just don’t make good sleepers until they reach at least the age of one! On the other hand though, it feels like we’ve been this family forever and for only five minutes.
I feel pretty content with being a mother and my capabilities. I breastfed for longer, and wasn’t phased by feeding whilst out which was a huge improvement from first-time motherhood. I think I know my limits and what I can achieve in a day, and although we certainly have hard days, and moments where I want to pull my hair out, over all I feel like I know who I am as a mother. I’m the most content and centred than I’ve ever felt before. Every time I get a compliment about the boys I have to pinch myself that this is real life. Nothing beats knowing that you’re raising well liked and loved kiddos! Apart from maybe those unprompted “love you mummy’s” and kisses. I think they’re probably the best bit about being a mum.
But I wouldn’t have this life any other way. Sure, we’re constantly late for everything (but I think part of that is down to me relaxing a little more on my time-keeping) and the house is often a mess until well into each evening. I rarely have time for just me where I’m not working something out in my mind that relates to at least one of my boys. Some days my to-do list gets complete, and others it gets left at the wayside, ignored in favour of adventures outside or hot tea on the sofa. I’ve made new friends, and lost some along the way. Perhaps because of my whirlwind life with two, or even in spite of it. However, these have been the very best days of my life, I am so ready to see where the next six months, and six years, takes me. Yes, I would 100% like some extra sleep – a full uninterrupted sleep would be amazing right about now! I always felt I was made for a big family, and now I know it to be true.