However, recently I've found that I really didn't like a certain side of myself, and that I wanted to be a better person, both for other people and for myself.
I'm happy to say I'm a much happier person right now. I feel more mellow and easy going. I feel more relaxed and at peace with the person I've become.
A lot of this I realised after seeing family that I haven't seen for a while, who remarked that I had changed in recent months, and seemed more open and happier in general.
And that was both slightly hard to hear, but also good to hear. I'm taking it as a positive however. I've worked hard to learn about myself and to develop myself. And it's a continual journey, but right now I'm happier.
I thought I'd share some personally things - reasons why I think I'm happier now than I've ever really been.
A huge one. And a difficult one to stop. Comparing what you have, what you've achieved and what you want against everyone else, will never, absolutely ever, make you happy. It's a big reason why I have cut my usage of Facebook. It promotes far too much negativity. You don't have to look far on the internet to find a new study about the negative affects of Facebook. Comparison isn't going to make you feel better, and is a pointless exercise. Everyone is fighting their own demons, which they may or may not want to show to the world. So on the outside it may appear perfect, but there could be a lot going on behind the scenes. Also, everyone has didn't goals, different journeys and different ways of coping. So stop comparing! Be happy with what you have achieved, and work towards your dreams.
Another hard one, though seemingly obvious. However it isn't always easy to work out where the negativity is coming from. It will be difficult I'm not going to lie, whether it's your outlook on things, a person, a job or whatever. But perhaps it will a good thing.
A tough one for a private person. I just don't really like sharing normally. I keep it to myself and deal with it. Opening up to new friends, and reaching out to people has made me feel happier. Maybe it's because I'm putting myself out there, I'm not sure. Turning this blog into a lifestyle blog and sharing my life and achievements to relative strangers, and twitter friends has made me feel better. The amazing feedback has honestly made me beyond happy, motivated and free.
Focused on the positives
Look at the amazing things you've done. And I'm sure you'll be surprised at how much you've done when you really think about it. Then think of the positive things you want to do.
For me, I've married my best friend and have a loving and caring family. I bought a house. I've travelled to some amazing places. I have some amazing and supportive friends, I have a job I love and am good at.
Next for me is to start a family with Dann - my biggest dream come true, travel a little more, and to connect more with my family. I have married into a great family that has a lot of love and kindness to share, and I have them to thank for so much. And I think they are part of who I have become now - because they care no matter what and made me feel a part of their family. My family is also a huge thing for me especially as it is quite small, so I will be making more effort to see and make memories with them.
Some things happen for now reason - acceptance
Unfortunately, some things just happen. There is no rhyme or reason. But they may just take you to a different journey that you were always meant to take. They can make you stronger, more patient, more kind, more understanding. My miscarriage was a huge trigger and journey changer. It was heartbreaking, but we got back up and we moved on. And we have achieved things I never would have dreamed of before. We got a second cat whom we love dearly. We bought a house (I know I go on, but I'm so proud we did it). We got jobs we love. We travelled, and I travelled a bit more. I started this blog, and I've poured my heart and soul into it, and it still brings me so much joy.
It's important to keep learning in life, and acceptance is a part of that I think.
Happiness in yourself comes from doing happy things. A smile can be contagious. And that is so important. Smile everyday. Laugh everyday. Be silly everyday. Don't be too serious!
^^mucking about at the last family wedding with my sister in law^^
Love who you are. Work on yourself everyday. Promote happiness and love, and it will find you too!